God's Challenge to the Extrovert

My wife and I got married and moved to a new town in the summer. The first few weeks in our new home were very slow, quiet, and filled with alone time. That probably sounds awesome to most couples, and it was. But it wasn’t always easy. We weren’t alone by choice. We had just moved to a new town and didn’t know anyone and weren’t apart of anything. My wife is a teacher so she didn’t start work until the fall and I didn’t start my job until after that. So for the first few weeks, we had nowhere to be and no one to see.

I realize that is not a bad problem to have. But the problem with it was that both my wife and I are pretty social people. We like hanging out with friends, we like having places to be. We even enjoy having responsibilities. When I was in college, I hated being alone. Every time I found myself stuck alone in my dorm room with nothing to do, I would immediately start texting other people to see if they wanted to hang out. And, dare I say, I actually enjoy being busy. I love having tasks to perform and people to meet with. I feel accomplished and valuable when my schedule is full.

And that isn’t a bad thing. It’s not bad to love community and it’s not bad to want to be needed. Those are good things. But when alone time came my way, I didn’t know what to do with it. It made me uncomfortable.

I’m no expert, but I would guess that one of the biggest spiritual obstacles that our generation faces is the inability to slow down. Even introverted people struggle with a need for constant entertainment. But extroverts are the worst of them all. We focus so much on our relationships with others, our appearances at places, and our friends’ opinions of us that we find ourselves saying, “yes,” to everything and never giving ourselves the opportunity to stop and think.

Of course, there are a lot of issues that can develop from this type of lifestyle. But the one that has hit me hardest is not knowing how to handle down time. When I have the day off or an empty hour in the middle of the day, I don’t know what to do. So I fill it. I assign myself more tasks, I find more people to hang out with, I spend the whole hour on social media checking out everyone else’s lives trying to somehow simulate some kind of interaction.

I know I need me time. But I often refuse to give it to myself. Sometimes it is because I feel like I will take too much advantage of it, and other times I just feel selfish. But if I don’t discipline myself to have some alone time, I might go crazy.

Jesus certainly had a lot going on. And it wasn’t just that he was busy, but that he was good with people. He was a very social guy. He was constantly going to dinner at friends’ houses, making appearances at parties (no doubt turning water into wine made him everybody’s favorite party guest), and addressing crowd after crowd. Most of us can only wish we had that many friends.

But Jesus disciplined himself to have alone time. And we can be sure it took discipline with so many people wanting to talk to him, wanting to meet him, to just touch him, or even just catch a glimpse of him.

Right when the news started to break out about Jesus, Jesus made the conscious decision to set aside alone time (Luke 5:15-16). And I don’t think it was because Jesus didn’t enjoy being with other people. I think he did. But Jesus knew that the joy he found in others could be addicting and he needed to make sure to get alone as often as necessary in order to be healthy, to stay grounded, and to grow closer to his Father.

As Christians we are called to be involved in the world. That is how we change it. But if we do not make effort to be alone, the world will make us crazy. We must learn to withdraw and have down time. We must learn to rest, pray, and to actually be comfortable being alone with God.

And so I challenge you to set aside time for yourself this week. Go on a hike, go sit by a lake, take a nap, read a book, take a walk, or just sit in a room and pray. Whatever you do, allow yourself to be comfortable in the stillness and the quietness. And thank God for the time off.

Then, I challenge you to make it a habit. Discipline yourself to take breaks. Get alone time in which there is no interaction except for between you and God. And feel the fulfillment and the energy that comes with it. Even if it is a struggle for you like it is for me, I promise it is worth it.