Why ‘Eaters’ Must Turn into ‘Feeders’ and ‘Feeders’ Must Always be ‘Eaters’

In a church family there are three types of people. There are “eaters”, “feeders”, and those who are neither. An “eater” is someone who comes to church and church events ready to be fed. They are eager to learn, eager to grow, and ultimately desire to be guided along the way to a deeper, more mature relationship with God. This is the ideal new Christian or new church member. A “feeder” is someone who is involved in church and church events with the goal of ministering to others. They are there to “feed” eaters.
These are your long time Christians with maturity and wisdom gained from years of “eating.” Of course, it is possible that there are people in your church that are simply there to fill a pew (not that they aren’t important, but they don’t come to church for any deeper purpose other than to “go to church”). However, I believe this type of person is more rare than most might think. Most people at least “eat” something while at church, even if it’s just learning where Philemon is.

The eater is what the church is made for. If we see church as a place (not necessarily a physical place) where believers can get together and be reenergized and retrained to go out and do God’s work in the world, than it is possible to liken church to a family meal—or better yet, a potluck (I’m a Baptist). In other words, your church family is somewhere where you can go to be fed spiritually. This is vital to your Christian existence. If you are not being fed in a community of other believers, the Christian life will prove to be very difficult if not impossible to live out. So we must all be eaters. And probably, if you are reading this, you are one.

It is important for eaters to grow as they eat and in what they eat. The writer of Hebrews (the book after Philemon, in case you looked) says that “milk” is for the spiritually immature while “solid food” is for the mature (Heb. 5:12-14). As disciples we are meant to grow. And to do that, we must eat.

But we must also feed others. The tendency of my generation of churchgoers is to approach the table every week with the intention of being fed but without the intention of feeding others. The average church attendee often sees church as a place to go to be filled but hardly ever sees it as an opportunity to pour out. That’s like showing up to the potluck and taking food from the table without bringing anything yourself. But, once our eating has caused us to grow enough, we must all be feeders.

Now hear this. This is not a call for you to sign up to teach Sunday school or sing in your church choir (although those are things to consider). Neither is this meant to create an unhealthy comparison between members of a church. Scripture is clear that every member of the Body is just as important as the other (1 Corinthians 12). Rather, this is a call to be aware of your responsibility as a member of the Body of Christ.

In Hebrews, the writer is frustrated that the recipients of the letter are not mature enough to teach others. By the time the letter is written, the recipients should have had plenty of time to eat enough to grow to the point of being feeders. But they hadn’t. It is my fear that the same is true of many Christians today. We eat, eat, eat but never feed. And this is a harsh term, but I think that we must be careful not to become spiritual mooches.  

Another disclaimer: your worth is not found is how much feeding you do for your church body. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t want to contribute.

So, eaters must become feeders. Just as they were fed by the feeders before them, they must feed the eaters that come after them. But, we must also remember that feeders must never cease to be eaters. If you desire to feed and feed well, you must always be striving to grow more. And to grow, you must eat.

I hope the next time you show up to church you go in looking for an opportunity to feed someone else. Bless somebody with the gifts God has given you. Plug into your church in an area that allows you to serve others. Don’t be satisfied with just eating and never giving back.

Now that I have made you thoroughly hungry, here are a few signs that you might be eating too much and feeding too little.

You’re a “Church Hopper.”

Changing churches is not bad. There are plenty of good reasons to leave one church and go to another one. However, attending different churches, off and on, on a regular basis doesn’t facilitate an opportunity for you to pour into other’s lives. It turns church into a smorgasbord of different choices, none of which you have to fully commit to. Church is not there for your entertainment, nor should it have to live up to your temporary cravings. The spiritually healthy approach to church is to find a family and commit to it. That means being involved long enough to contribute.

You don’t feel a sense of community at your church.

One of the most common complaints about churches that I hear is the lack of community. “We don’t know anybody” and “It doesn’t feel like a real family” are common expressions of dissatisfaction because of the missing aspect of human relationship in a person’s church experience. And let me tell you, I believe that is a real problem. But I’m not sure you can blame your church. If you are a part of a congregation that is blessed to have the opportunity to meet in small group settings (like Sunday school, Like groups, Community groups, etc.) as well as a large group together, then there is not much of an excuse for you to be feeling distant from your fellow churchgoers. Though church staff members should work hard to better facilitate opportunities for you to get to know other people, it is ultimately up to you to build those relationships. And that might require some feeding. Ask people about their lives. Find out what they like to do. Be intentional about getting close to them. A lot of the time, it will require you to take the initiative.

The preaching and the music are the only things you talk about.

Most churchgoers leave church discussing and evaluating their experience of that particular event or service. Often, the quality of the speaker’s delivery style or the song choices of the worship band dominate discussion. But questions like, “Did you like the sermon?” or statements like, “I didn’t care for the music,” can be dangerous if they aren’t grouped with questions like, “Did you get to talk to John?” and statements like, “We ought to do something for the Andersons.” If your recollection of church is only that of what happened in front of you, and not of the lives of the people beside you, than it is possible that you are there to eat rather than to feed. This might be hard to believe, but church is about connecting with the people in the pews more than it is about a pastor or a song.

I could give more signs. But I think these three are probably the most common.

My prayer is that you will be reminded to eat to grow and to feed when you can. I hope that you look at church from a new perspective. No longer should church be a place focused on “me” and what I can eat. But rather, it should be a place where I commit to feed others while I eat. Now go get yourself a sandwich or something.